Mom’s hair is like sheep floof!
I have Dave hair. Except it isn’t creamy. And it isn’t English. It’s Genovese blond.
(This is Dave. He’s Gi’s English Cream cousin.)
What is an assless chap? Dad? ‘Cause he’s a chap with no ass.
Me: Get a thank you card out of the drawer.
Gi: That drawer never moves. It’s completely stationery.
Coffee is the only thing keeping Mom’s ancient heart beating!
The South China Sea and the Bay of Bengal… They both sound like they’re magical places.
Who’s hat is a black pineapple, looking decayed? Giovanni Danielson!
I hadokened myself over a gap!
Oh, [my project] is already dry. I used gratuitous amounts of hot glue.
You mark my words… I always wake up at an average of 8:30.
Dad: Wonder what would inspire someone to put “pew pew” on their car like that?
Gi: They’re a church person.
Dad: There is no funk left in my function.
Gi: Yeah. It’s defunct.
I wonder why we don’t have any cockroaches?
I don’t have the emotional range of a teaspoon.
who doesn’t want a shiny pink tank with mirrors all over it?
Gi: What do you get when you fill a hat full of coffee? A beanie!
Me: Did you make that up just now?
I like the introduction. It sounds like the beginning of a meme.
Gi: That’s so bad that it makes me laugh and be angry at the same time!
Dad: Dad joke accomplished.
Me: If you could take a trip anywhere, where would you go?
Gi: Ancient Greece.
Me: Gi! Go down to the store and get some cilantro.
Gi: I don’t have my driver’s license yet. Wait six years.
Me: I can’t wait that long for cilantro!