Me: {smelling Giovanni} You’ve been into something in the bathroom. What is it?
Gi: A speed stick.
Me: Why?
Gi: I don’t know.
Me: Well, something had to make you want to use it.
Gi: I don’t know.
Me: Bud… You’re not going to be in trouble. You’ve already told me that you’ve used something in the bathroom. It’s OK. You can tell me.
Gi: Well… I just wanted to know the properties.
Me: And what are they?
Gi: More speed.

Me: So what number would you like on the back of your jersey, Bud?
Gi: Ten.
Me: Why? Why do you like number ten?
Gi: Because ten is the easiest number to math with!

(He was unable to have ten, or half of ten, so he’s number 30.)